Wanting to be understood without having to explain
Wanting to be understood is something every person longs for. For their partner, friends or family to understand how they feel deep down. But the struggle of explaining your pain can be a hard topic to talk about. So you start wanting others to understand what you want or need from them without having to say anything. By putting a certain look on your face or acting a certain way, so that maybe you bring attention to what is really going on within yourself.
Personally I have this issue and I can vouch and say that it’s not always the best form of communication. Although it does exist and you might just have such a deep connection with someone that they may pick up on these small gestures, and completely understand right then and there. Some people just don’t see the small things like that or maybe they just can’t comprehend. No matter the issue in any sort of relationship, there are lots of media pages and/or therapists that will always tell you that “communication is key.” And it is. But when you feel the need to just be understood without having to say anything, it raises the question of: How do I make them understand?
Sometimes they will just know, and I have three things to back that up:
1.) You body speaks first
Before your mouth opens, your body already has. The way you sit. The tension in your shoulders. The way your eyes shift or soften. These subtle signs say more than you realize. A forced smile, a slouched posture, avoiding eye contact. These are all conversations in disguise.
2.) Your energy tells the truth
Have you ever walked into a room and felt the heaviness before anyone said a word? That’s presence. That’s unspoken emotion filling the air like fog. People can feel that, whether it’s calm or anxious. We may try to hide our emotions with silence, but energy always finds a way to speak. And sometimes, when someone feels that energy and doesn’t run from it, you know they really see you.
3.) Expression isn’t always verbal
Sometimes what we can’t say, we create. We turn emotion into brush strokes. We pour pour our thoughts into journals we will never share. We send someone a song that holds everything we’re feeling. These are all ways of saying, “Here. This is me. I don’t know how to explain it, but maybe this will.” Art, music, writing - these are bridges between the heart and the world. They let others into places we cannot go.
To be understood is to let your presence do the talking. To trust that people who care will read between the lines. To believe that you don’t always have to explain yourself to be valid, seen or worthy. Not everything needs to be spoken, to be felt. And sometimes, the most powerful way to be heard.. is to simply be real.. wordless, raw, and present.
