What if I never get better?

This topic has been on my mind, mainly for myself, but thought it would be helpful to other readers. And rather than going in too deep, I’ll keep it short and sweet.

We never say such a thing out loud for the simple fact of scaring yourself or others. The idea of never getting better can feel like betrayal of all the hard work you’ve done. The therapy, the journaling, the self-help books, the forcing ourselves out of bed. We think healing is suppose to be linear, that we climb and climb and eventually arrive at the summit where everything finally makes sense. But what if healing isn’t a summit? What if it’s just learning how to live with the mess? Because maybe “better” isn’t a finish line. Maybe it’s not a version of ourselves that’s constantly happy or perfectly functioning. Maybe better is being able to sit with the pain without letting it consume us. Some days will feel impossible. We will question our strength, our worth, our future. And that’s okay. That doesn’t mean we’re broken beyond repair. It means we are human. And if today all you can do is breathe, that’s still something. That still counts. So instead of asking, “what if I never get better?” We ask:

“What if I learn to live with the parts of me that are still healing? What if I stop measuring my worth by how well I’m performing my recovery? What if I’m already enough, even like this?”