Not being “sick enough” to ask for help

You know you are not okay, but you’re not “bad enough” to say it out loud. You’re struggling, but not sure if you’re allowed to call it struggling. You wake up in a fog of functioning, exhausted but productive, hurting but still smiling. You have convinced yourself that that unless you are falling apart visibly, that your pain doesn’t count. because someone always has it worse. Because you can go to work. Because you’re still getting out of bed. Because you’re not hospitalized. Because you’re not in crisis. So you swallow it and downplay your needs. You hesitate before texting a friend. You tell yourself that you’re not sick enough to deserve help.

In my opinion this is one of the most harmful lies we learn to believe. That there is a threshold of suffering we must cross before we’re allowed to speak up. That unless our lives are in shambles, we should keep our mouths shut and carry on. But pain doesn’t need to become a disaster before you’re allowed to ask for support.

Mental health is not a switch that’s either “fine” or “broken.” It’s a spectrum, and everyone moves along it, sometimes gently and sometimes abruptly. And whenever you are on that spectrum, you are allowed to need support. You don’t have to be gasping for breathe to deserve air. You don’t have to be bleeding to deserve care. Maybe your symptoms don’t fit into a diagnosis. Maybe your sadness doesn’t have a name. Maybe your anxiety hides behind jokes and productivity. That doesn’t mean it’s not real. You shouldn’t keep to yourself. You are allowed to ask for help before it gets worse. You are allowed to talk about what’s hurting you even if you’re still “high functioning.”

You are allowed to not be okay, even if no one can see it. Let go of the imaginary line you think you have to cross to be taken seriously. You don’t owe the world a breakdown to prove your struggle is real. You are enough. Your pain is enough. And you are absolutely allowed to ask for help.